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Turn away
If you could get me a drink
Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help me gather all my things
And bury me
In all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,

Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.

Now turn away,
Cause I'm awful just to see
Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,
All my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
But counting down the days to go.
It's just eleven,

And I just hope you know,
That if you say,
Good-bye today,
I'd ask you to be true,

Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you...

Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you...


project runway season 3 winner

project runway winner

helllllll yeaaaaaaa boooyyyy<33

a d d

s t e p h a n i e
[and whore her]

she'll comment you
she'll give you picture comments
she'll whore you back [only if you want!]
she's pretty much.... AWESOME

[click the picture to view her profile]

legalize the document

i think it's official.
i emotionally connect with peter [wentz].
i'm not trying to sound creepy or anything, but when he writes in his journals, i feel like he's able to explain myself better than i can.
['cause heaven knows i can't explain myself to save my life]
well, maybe i can. maybe i just don't try hard enough.
but that's just the thing.... it shouldn't take effort to explain myself.
shouldn't it come naturally?
maybe i just get too caught up in trying to say everything at once.
throw all the words into one big melting pot of feeling.
add a touch of soul.
a pinch of spite.
a tablespoon of angst.
shaken, not stired.
yep. it was another one of those, "people don't have anything better to talk about; so they talk about me instead"-kind-of-days.
i could honestly care less about what you have to say about me.
and instead of venting out to others who don't even want to hear your problems tell it to my face.
it's not like i'm going to get hurt by the truth i already know.
i know i'm a hateful person.
i know i'm a vain soul.
i know i hate you [and you hate yourself].
i know you have this.... staring problem.
i know you give dirty looks.
i know i give them back.
i'll wrap it up nice and pretty, just so you can be surprised by the "prize" inside.
i don't fucking care if you don't like me.
it's not like i expect everyone to like me.
i know people stare.
but i don't care.
i'm being myself and not being conscious.
let me sing off key.
let me dance around.
let me express myself.
at least i'm not boring myself to death.

a devil in a midnight mass

it felt like it took forever to fall asleep last night.
i'm not anticipating anything, so i don't know what it was
that kept me [what felt like] awake.
my room was silent, and all i heard was my breath.
inhale exhale. inhale exhale. inhale [hold your breath].
i hope my eyeliner doesn't smear like it did last week from yawning so much.
i spy with my insightful eye, lost souls.
i spy with my dangerous eye, pain.
i spy with my unexperienced eye, something a little naive.
maybe it's just me?
i hope it's not you.

i'm sending this to peter in the q&a

i hate do tell my problems to you, but right now, i seriously dont have anyone else. no really, everyone is.... not here.
i cried tonight. i dont know what it was i did to make my mom mad. i bring home a fairly good progress report from school. i talk to her. i clean up the damn juice my brother spilled.
and she got mad. i started to cry. i asked her what i did wrong, and she gave me some lame, bogus answer. its not the first time, im starting to think shes mental.... maybe its not the best thought to have. but really. i think ill go cry myself to sleep tonight.

project runway was the only thing that made me smile, finding out all four are going to fashion week<3
thank you for listening
damn, peter. if you reply to this, id flip. please. you just have to. damn i hate sounding desperate.

morning sweetness and nightime thrill

waking up to your favorite bands-- there's nothing better<3

take one big step and i looked away...

college life- i wonder what it's like.
people are going to say, "it's not all it's hyped up to be..." 'cause thats how i feel about the hometown sometimes.
it's got it's perks, but when do really appreciate it fully? it's got ups and downs at some point.